Relationships
Quality time with others (ideally in person). Relationships that give a sense of belonging, energy and security.
The page in brief
- We feel good when we have people around us we feel safe with.
- What matters is not how many friends you have, but that the relationships give you energy.
- Meeting in person gives the most. Contact online is also good, especially if you see each other sometimes.
- Put your phone away when you are together and listen to each other.
- People you only know online may not be who they say they are.
Why are relationships so important?
Positive social relationships are one of the most important factors for our mental health. We have a biological need to feel a sense of belonging, to be part of a group and to be appreciated for who we are. When we feel seen, acknowledged and accepted by others, our self-esteem and wellbeing grow stronger.
Quality over quantity
What matters is not how many relationships you have, but which relationships give you energy and security. Spending time in real life with people who wish you well gives the best long-term effects on wellbeing, because it releases substances in the body that make us feel calm and safe.
Think about your relationships
Which relationships lift you, and which take more energy?
Do you spend time with people who make you feel good?
How do you contribute to your relationships?
Tips for better relationships
Do things together
Go for a walk, try a sport together, visit an exhibition. Be curious!
Give your full attention
When you are together, turn your attention to them, listen to them and put your phone away, so that they feel heard and seen.
Show appreciation
Think about what the other person would be happy about and do it. It could be a compliment, a kind text message, a favour – something that shows you were thinking of them.
Ask for help
Asking someone for help with something small that you can do together can strengthen the feeling of closeness between you, for example repainting the bedroom, rearranging furniture, fixing a bike or babysitting together.
Relationships and digital media
Investing in relationships by also communicating digitally is good for us too, especially if we also meet in person sometimes. When we meet in real life, the body releases more of the substances that give us a sense of wellbeing.
Purely digital contacts with people we have never met can be positive for us, but they also carry quite a few risks. Because we use fewer senses to experience another person when we interact digitally, there is a big risk that we do not get a full picture of who the other person really is.
In digital interactions it is possible to show and highlight only one part of yourself. This can of course also be exploited, and the person may be something quite different from what they claim to be. The most important relationships in your life are safest to have in the physical world as well.
Talk with your child
Open questions make it easier to talk about everyday life without it turning into an interrogation.
“Do you have a friend you sometimes spend time with? Is it in person or online?”
“Is there someone in your life you feel you can talk to about difficult things, thoughts or feelings? If so, who?”
Show that you are curious, ask open questions and listen to understand. Sum up what you have heard and ask if you have understood correctly. Focus on balance, not on what is wrong.
The questions come from Det syns inte’s conversation material “Må bra samtal” (feel-good conversations).
Want to work with this at school?
Det syns inte is a school programme about mental health, the brain and life with screens. It is built on drama films and research, and is used by teachers, mentors and school health teams together with the students. The programme’s website is in Swedish.