Agreements with other families
About the use of digital media. Research-based tips for all important adults. Here you will find shared approaches to digital media, based on the 2024 recommendations of the Public Health Agency of Sweden.
The page in brief
- Many children say that “everyone else is allowed”. It gets easier if adults agree with each other.
- Here are questions that parents can talk about together, for example at a parents’ meeting.
- Social media are not recommended for children under 13.
- It helps if the families decide on a shared time in the evening when screens are switched off.
- No one has to follow the agreement, but it gets easier when you support each other.
- Write down what you agree on further down the page. It also goes into the family plan.
Background
Many children today have access to digital media that encourage excessive use, contain messages that can harm their self-image, and are better suited to older teenagers or adults. Even so, many adults let their children use them, often because the children say that “everyone else is allowed” and the parents do not want their child to be left out.
It is easier to stand firm if you adults talk things through in advance. This material supports that conversation.
All families are different, and no one has to follow a shared agreement. But when parents talk openly with each other, it becomes easier to support one another. Discuss the questions below in small groups and see whether you can agree on a few things.
“Everyone else is allowed”
Peer pressure is easier to handle if adults join forces and stay one step ahead.
Research-based tips on shared approaches to digital media
Based on the 2024 recommendations of the Public Health Agency of Sweden.
Follow the age recommendations for digital media
Because digital media with advertising or in-game purchases have been shown to make balanced use harder, there is a greater risk that the use comes at the expense of protective factors (see the Mental Health Plate). Social media also often contain content that has been shown to harm self-image. Social media are not recommended until the child has turned 13 at the earliest. So that children born late in the year are not left out, you can for example agree that children get access (if they want to) at the start of the autumn term of year 7 (the year they turn 13 in Sweden). Follow the age ratings for digital games, known as PEGI ratings, which mean the games have been assessed for violent content and language.
Set a shared evening cut-off time for digital media
Using digital media later in the evening delays falling asleep and can contribute to lack of sleep. Lack of sleep makes learning harder and increases the risk of both physical and mental ill health. Since many children feel peer pressure to be available through messages and games, a shared cut-off time for digital contact makes things easier. Start from how much sleep is needed and count backwards from waking up. Add 30–60 minutes of screen-free time to wind down. What will the cut-off time be for your children? Example:
- Wake-up07:00
- Sleep10 hrs
- Asleep by21:00
- Screens off20:00
Charge the phone outside the bedroom
Today, about a quarter of children aged 9–12 say they use their phone at night. The corresponding figure for 17–18-year-olds is 79%. It is common to scroll for a long time at bedtime. Research shows that access to phones or other digital devices in the bedroom at night is linked to a higher risk of lack of sleep and poorer sleep quality.
Limit the time on digital media
Since there are only 24 hours in a day, time on digital media can easily crowd out other basic needs such as sleep, physical activity, relationships, meals and schoolwork, which has been shown to increase the risk of ill health. That is why the Public Health Agency of Sweden recommends limiting children’s and young people’s time on digital media according to the following rules of thumb:
- Ages 2–5Max 1 hrNo more than 1 hour a day
- Ages 6–121–2 hrsNo more than 1–2 hours a day
- Ages 13–182–3 hrsNo more than 2–3 hours a day
Support them when things go wrong online
Talk with your children about good behaviour on digital media. Agree on how you adults will act if your children treat each other badly online. Assume that everyone means well and that you as adults can see the children as “everyone’s” children who may need support. Tell your children at home that they can always come to you and that you will not be angry, whoever was “at fault”. Many children do not dare talk to adults when they have experienced something negative online, sometimes out of fear of losing access to the app or game.
Download the agreements as a PDF
All the material on agreements, both within the family and between families, is available as a PDF. Print it and bring it to the dinner table or the parents’ meeting.
Want to work with this at school?
Det syns inte is a school programme about mental health, the brain and life with screens. It is built on drama films and research, and is used by teachers, mentors and school health teams together with the students. The programme’s website is in Swedish.